Discussing the complexities of war with your children
In these challenging times, conversations about global crises like the war in Ukraine can be overwhelming for both parents and children. However, it's essential to approach these discussions with empathy and care, helping children understand what they are hearing or seeing in the news.
According to Jennifer Garbow, Anita Harris Hering, Ellie McCann, Cari Michaels, and Sharon Powell, website educators in family resiliency, some effective strategies for talking with children about the war in Ukraine include shielding young children from violent and disturbing news, explaining the conflict in age-appropriate terms, and helping children feel informed and empowered to help in compassionate ways.
One of the key strategies is shielding young children from direct exposure to violent news or traumatic images while still addressing their questions honestly but gently. For school-age children, using a map or globe can be helpful in locating the countries mentioned in news articles.
When discussing the war, it's important to use simple, age-appropriate language to explain the conflict and its impact. Focus on themes like helping neighbors, refugees, and kindness rather than violence. Encourage empathy and compassion, teaching children about global citizenship, and ways they might support those affected, like through donations or sending messages of support.
Listen carefully to children’s emotions and fears, validating their feelings, and helping them process anxiety or sadness through conversation or creative outlets like drawing. Limiting media exposure to avoid overwhelming or confusing young children is also crucial, while keeping older children informed with balanced, factual information.
Providing a sense of safety and routine at home is equally important, as war-related news can generate fear and uncertainty among children. Recognizing children as vulnerable victims who may suffer trauma requires sensitive protection and support systems, including family care and psychological assistance, especially in cases of displacement or separation due to the war.
When ready, start the conversation with your child by asking what they know and whether they have questions. Search for answers together if you don't have them. Remember to discuss the countries mentioned in news articles with children, as this can help them understand the context better.
The answers to questions about the war are complex and may require an ongoing discussion. Both parents and children may experience feelings of anxiety, worry, fear, and grief due to the war. Military kids may be particularly affected by the war, as they worry about the safety of their parents who could be part of the military community.
Fred Rogers, an American television host, offers insight for parents and caregivers about discussing difficult topics like the war with children. He once said, "When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting and less scary."
While the focus here is on communication strategies, it's also important to be aware of broader efforts to protect Ukrainian children affected by war, including initiatives aimed at the safe return and reintegration of displaced or abducted children. This underscores the need for safeguarding children's emotional and physical well-being.
In conclusion, discussing the war in Ukraine with children can be a useful exercise to help them understand complex global events and foster empathy. By following the strategies outlined above, parents and caregivers can help manage children’s emotional responses, providing a sense of safety and support during these challenging times.
Engaging in education-and-self-development, parents and caregivers can learn effective strategies to talk about the war in Ukraine with their children, such as shielding young children from distressing content and using age-appropriate language.
Moreover, educating children about the war and its impact can contribute significantly to their personal-growth, encouraging empathy, compassion, and global citizenship, thus empowering them to help affected communities in compassionate ways.
