"Discover Your Desires: 4 Methods with Illustrative Examples"
In the pursuit of understanding what we truly want in life, it's essential to embrace new experiences, meet new people, and engage in a game of trial and error. This journey, while challenging, can be navigated with a plan, but it's crucial to remain adaptable when our paths change.
Setting goals is a fundamental step in staying motivated and overcoming obstacles. However, it's important to remember that changes in plans are a natural part of the process. As one author from Estonia, a school psychologist, teacher, and internet counselor, shares, "It's okay if what one thought they wanted isn't what they really want after trying new things."
To differentiate between personal desires and societal expectations, self-awareness plays a vital role. The key is to identify and clarify your personal values, desires, and intuition, apart from external influences or social scripts. This involves reflective self-awareness, questioning the origins of your motivations, and consciously choosing paths aligned with your authentic self rather than conforming to societal approval or norms.
Several guiding steps can help:
- Recognize the difference between personal values and societal values: Personal values reflect what matters most to you as an individual, while societal values represent the collective norms of the culture or group you belong to. Being clear on where these differ helps you see when you might be acting to please others versus honoring your true self.
- Notice signs of living for others’ expectations: Feelings of dissatisfaction, deep unfulfillment, or a sense of living 'someone else's script' often indicate societal influence overriding personal desires. Awareness of these feelings is a starting point for change.
- Anchor your identity in something deeper than social approval: Because humans naturally seek belonging and approval, distinguishing the desire for connection from the compulsion to please is crucial. Finding a higher internal standard—such as your own convictions, purpose, or authentic aspirations—helps break free from societal pressures.
- Listen to your intuition and inner voice: Intuition is often muffled by social conditioning. Reconnecting with your own inner guidance, as exemplified by experiences of burnout or dissatisfaction before reclaiming authenticity, can illuminate what you truly want.
- Engage in reflective practices: Writing personal value statements or journaling about what truly matters to you allows you to clarify and articulate your authentic goals. These tools serve as compasses when societal expectations conflict with personal desires.
- Understand self-actualization as personal fulfillment distinct from social roles: According to Maslow, pursuing self-actualization means striving to realize your unique potential and purpose, which may not align with societal definitions of success or roles.
In essence, differentiating true personal desires from societal expectations requires self-exploration, honest reflection, and a willingness to prioritize authenticity over external approval. This process often involves discomfort or upheaval but leads to greater fulfillment and integrity in life.
Remember, it's okay to reevaluate goals if they are no longer serving your purpose. Growth often occurs outside of your comfort zone, and finding your purpose is an important step in figuring out what you want in life. As the author notes, "Figuring out what one wants in life requires introspection, trial and error, flexibility, resilience, and leaving one’s comfort zone."
So, the next time you find yourself asking the age-old question, "What do you want to do in life?", take a moment to reflect, explore, and be open to the journey of self-discovery. Embrace change, learn from your experiences, and stay true to your authentic self. After all, it's your life, and your journey.
Setting goals for happiness and personal growth in the areas of education-and-self-development and career-development is essential for one's introspection and journey of self-discovery. This process entails engaging in reflective practices, such as introspection and trial and error, to distinguish personal desires from societal expectations, thus fostering authentic self-actualization.
