Childhood experiences could potentially explain why you're finding it hard to maintain healthy relationships, according to recent research findings.
A new study suggests that childhood experiences play a significant role in maintaining good relationships as adults. The focus of the study is on individuals who grew up with emotionally unavailable, over-controlling, or verbally abusive caregivers.
Low conscientiousness, a personality trait characterized by a lack of organization, responsibility, and goal-directed behavior, can have detrimental effects on relationships. Individuals low in conscientiousness often struggle with consistency, planning, meeting deadlines, and tend to be more careless or forgetful.
In terms of relationships, particularly building and maintaining good adult relationships, low conscientiousness can lead to several issues:
- Difficulty in reliability and dependability: People low in conscientiousness may frequently be late, miss appointments, or fail to follow through on commitments, which can strain trust and stability in relationships.
- Reduced commitment and persistence: Such individuals might show decreased tenacity and commitment-making, which are crucial for sustaining long-term partnerships and resolving conflicts effectively.
- Increased distractibility and carelessness: These traits can lead to misunderstandings, neglect of relationship needs, and failures in communication, undermining relationship quality.
Research links conscientiousness to stronger relationship durability, implying that lower levels of conscientiousness increase the risk of relationship difficulties and dissatisfaction. While not the sole factor, conscientiousness is one of the strongest personality predictors of long-term interpersonal success and well-being.
However, it's important to note that it's never too late to learn how to thrive in relationships, even if one's personality has adapted to survive a childhood that didn't teach these skills. Struggles with low conscientiousness may be due to a lack of opportunity for its full development.
We don't just attract what we want; we attract what feels familiar. If love feels like chaos or inconsistency, it may be echoing something from childhood, not because one is broken, but because their system is still trying to protect them. Working with a professional therapist or coach can help unpack the early experiences that shaped one's relational style and support intentional growth.
Ann Papayoti, PCC, a relationship coach, author, speaker, and host of the podcast "Soul CPR Healing Out Loud," emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and intentional growth in building healthy relationships. "Becoming the version of yourself who knows how to nurture, honor, and protect love when it shows up is a journey, but it's one worth taking," she says.
In conclusion, understanding the impact of low conscientiousness on relationships can help individuals take steps towards improvement. Whether through therapy, coaching, or self-reflection, it's never too late to learn and grow towards healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
- Childhood experiences with emotionally unavailable, over-controlling, or verbally abusive caregivers can lead to low levels of conscientiousness as adults, potentially impacting relationships.
- Struggles with low conscientiousness in adulthood, characterized by a lack of organization and commitment, could strain trust, stability, and commitment in romantic relationships.
- Research in the field of psychology suggests that higher conscientiousness levels are associated with stronger, longer-lasting relationships and overall well-being.
- In the realm of health-and-wellness and mental-health, addressing low conscientiousness could improve personal growth and relationships.
- Learning about the origins of one's relational style through therapy or coaching can contribute to personal growth and education-and-self-development, leading to more satisfying relationships.
- A focus on self-awareness, intentional growth, and addressing childhood experiences is crucial for nurturing healthier, more fulfilling relationships in the future.
- Cultivating self-awareness and intentional growth in relationships is an ongoing process that falls under the broader category of lifestyle and relationships, regardless of one's personality traits.
